A little on the serious side....
So yesterday as I was sitting there waiting on our meeting for Baby Bear.. We were playing and I was trying to distract him so he wouldn't be screaming which he was actually being really good.
Across the room there were two littles, I won't give details on them other then they were still young but plenty old enough to know what was going on. They were trying to pretend they didn't really know what was happening and they were dancing and playing around the grandmother.
Then the little girl shattered my heart..
She looked at the Grandmother and asked her.. "What happens if the meeting goes bad today?"
To which the Grandmother replied that she guesses she has to change schools and move to a different city then they are currently in.
So then the girl got quiet and she asked.. "Would we have to stay with strangers?" "Will they separate us?" "What if they don't have a room for me at the new place?"... she was asking all this before an answer could be given... then the question that I had to cough to keep from crying came..
"What if they don't like me or want me to stay very long?"....
Oh honey... I want you!! I like you!! Come stay with me!!
Fostering is something that we had always thought about but until Baby Bear, was this thing we thought well maybe later...
Let me tell you sitting there watching these two littles and listening to her pleas and concerns.. It about broke me! It's not easy what these kids go through.. yes it is hard on the adults involved.. it's not easy to get attached and then have to let them go, you have meetings and court and .. blah blah blah.. SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP!!
I say that to anyone thinking it's too hard to foster because... If you want to be a parent even a temp one.. your feelings do not matter anymore.. these kids have parents that will not put them first or come from situations that will never be better or change or are so unstable they never know where they will be sleeping or the next meal come from... even if it's just for a min, would you not want to at least show them that not everyone is like that, That they do not have to grow up and continue to live that way?
Now I do not know the details of this particular case and even if I did I could never share it nor would I want to, that is for these two to share if and when they are ready... But what I do know is what I watched on their face after talking to the grown ups they had to.. after seeing what I assume to be their dad and having little to no reaction other then what looked like longing in ones face and hate in another..
Fostering is not for everyone.. there is a lot of red tape and ups and downs and you just never know what the outcome is going to be... To me tho.. I'ts all worth it, if you could even make one child feel wanted.. feel loved.. feel safe.
It does take a special kind of love.. one that knows it may never be loved back.
One that knows it may have to give that child back.
One that knows you could do everything in your power to help and still get nothing accomplished, but has to remember you did try.
One that Loves what you did not create just like you did.
One that gets too involved and cares too much because nobody else will and they deserve to have someone fight for them.
You could lose it all in the end... But the point is.. while you had them.. while they were yours.. THEY KNEW THEY WERE YOURS!
Across the room there were two littles, I won't give details on them other then they were still young but plenty old enough to know what was going on. They were trying to pretend they didn't really know what was happening and they were dancing and playing around the grandmother.
Then the little girl shattered my heart..
She looked at the Grandmother and asked her.. "What happens if the meeting goes bad today?"
To which the Grandmother replied that she guesses she has to change schools and move to a different city then they are currently in.
So then the girl got quiet and she asked.. "Would we have to stay with strangers?" "Will they separate us?" "What if they don't have a room for me at the new place?"... she was asking all this before an answer could be given... then the question that I had to cough to keep from crying came..
"What if they don't like me or want me to stay very long?"....
Oh honey... I want you!! I like you!! Come stay with me!!
Fostering is something that we had always thought about but until Baby Bear, was this thing we thought well maybe later...
Let me tell you sitting there watching these two littles and listening to her pleas and concerns.. It about broke me! It's not easy what these kids go through.. yes it is hard on the adults involved.. it's not easy to get attached and then have to let them go, you have meetings and court and .. blah blah blah.. SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP!!
I say that to anyone thinking it's too hard to foster because... If you want to be a parent even a temp one.. your feelings do not matter anymore.. these kids have parents that will not put them first or come from situations that will never be better or change or are so unstable they never know where they will be sleeping or the next meal come from... even if it's just for a min, would you not want to at least show them that not everyone is like that, That they do not have to grow up and continue to live that way?
Now I do not know the details of this particular case and even if I did I could never share it nor would I want to, that is for these two to share if and when they are ready... But what I do know is what I watched on their face after talking to the grown ups they had to.. after seeing what I assume to be their dad and having little to no reaction other then what looked like longing in ones face and hate in another..
Fostering is not for everyone.. there is a lot of red tape and ups and downs and you just never know what the outcome is going to be... To me tho.. I'ts all worth it, if you could even make one child feel wanted.. feel loved.. feel safe.
It does take a special kind of love.. one that knows it may never be loved back.
One that knows it may have to give that child back.
One that knows you could do everything in your power to help and still get nothing accomplished, but has to remember you did try.
One that Loves what you did not create just like you did.
One that gets too involved and cares too much because nobody else will and they deserve to have someone fight for them.
You could lose it all in the end... But the point is.. while you had them.. while they were yours.. THEY KNEW THEY WERE YOURS!
I have seen this first hand. It is heartbreaking indeed. Their little minds should never be troubled with such things. To have to feel unloved or unwanted. To watch a child cry because they want to be with their parents is sad. Their parents arent good for them at the moment but they don't know how to comprehend it because to them their lives were normal even if it was bad. And..if the parents get them back, you worry if they are doing ok. But for a time you can give them the life they deserve. You pray that the good things you bestow to them carry them through in life and the bad cycle breaks and their children will always feel loved. Being a foster parent is a challenge. But most of all its the smile you can put on an innocent child's face with hopes of a better tomorrow.
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