You Got this..
Ever Just feel like you are failing no matter what you do or how hard you try?
I seriously feel like that daily..
Life is hard, Kids are hard, Marriage is hard, Friendships are hard.
I was a stay at home mom for 10 plus years.. Once Winnie went to school it was time for me to get a job. I had no skills, no formal education to speak of, I had went to a few semesters of school and didn't finish because trying to do that with 5 small kids at home just was not working for me.
So when I started putting Applications in and was getting nothing back I was so discouraged.
I did finally get something that I was great at and loved or at least liked most days. Then Eowyn got worse and things had to do some changing, and at first that job was great about it, then not so much so I moved on to something else that fit at the time then it didn't.
As most of you know we got Baby Bear kinda suddenly and I did try to work and do a newborn and ya'll... It was hard.. Then we came to the issue of child care... we do not do daycare, and even if we did nothing had an opening.. I broke down and called.. nothing. No body was available for me to be able to work outside the home. So we made the hard decision for me to stay home again.
I do struggle with it tho because I am used to being able to contribute to our household financially and the only way for me to do that is to babysit..
What I struggle with most is trying to find where I fit in now as far as what I have to offer my household. I feel like I have nothing to offer.. I feel like what I do have to offer is not enough and this is what I am finding..
I have to check that attitude, mostly because I do not have the time to doubt myself.. BUT... I do not have the energy to NOT like myself!!
I had someone tell me the other day that they don't know how I keep it together so well given everything the village has going on and personally what we have going on in our household and how we take another child and how we do this and that... When stuff like that is said to me it's not that I do not appreciate what they are trying to say but... I seriously have to stop and think... what in the world are they seeing.. what in the world am I putting off that says I have all this confidence?!!
Let me tell you what is actually going on in my head... I am FREAKED out most of the time!! On a normal day I have several small kiddos I watch and on top of that we have kids that have to be ran here and there and picked back up and shopping that needs done and St.louis to go to and dinner that needs fixed and kids that need to be talked to or with or need to talk to me and a baby that needs something 24/7 and a husband that also needs me so at the end of the day... exhausted is an understatement. So when I hear someone tell me I "look" like I have all my ducks in a row... I try so hard not to laugh at the fact it's FALLING apart lol
I look through my FB feed like I am sure everyone else does and I see all these friends and family of mine that are just killing it.. And I don't mean just looking like they are great but I mean I know these ladies on a personal level and they are just killing it daily! Going to school or running their own business or two or three, or working more then one or two jobs just to get by or make sure they have that extra for their kids... then I talk to them and I realize they are where I am...
They feel like they are failing most days and they are just in this rough place most of the time or when they lay down at night they feel like there is no end in sight or it's never going to be good enough and it's heartbreaking. If they could only see themselves from my point of view.... They are ROCK STARS!!
So I said all of that just to say this.... To all my ladies out there running a business, or working the hours that are seemingly endless or going to school and spending their nights between books and kids hoping to pass that test, or at home trying your best to keep your household running and giving that job your all.... YOU GOT THIS!!
I promise your kids see it! You have no idea the impact you are having on them right now, you have no idea the impact you are having on other people right now! Post that selfie.. post that success or failure.. post that frustration!! We NEED to see it.. everyone does.. post the real daily struggle! Your life makes an impact on everyone else... You matter, You are amazing and you may feel like you are running on fumes and just done...
Don't give up
Don't Stop
In your own way you are an inspiration to the people around you no matter how small.
I know how you feel.. I understand the failings you have in your mind.. but please stop and think for just a second about everything you are doing right because it's there and let me tell you it does out weigh what you think is bad!!
I am proud of you!! You should be proud of you as well!!
I seriously feel like that daily..
Life is hard, Kids are hard, Marriage is hard, Friendships are hard.
I was a stay at home mom for 10 plus years.. Once Winnie went to school it was time for me to get a job. I had no skills, no formal education to speak of, I had went to a few semesters of school and didn't finish because trying to do that with 5 small kids at home just was not working for me.
So when I started putting Applications in and was getting nothing back I was so discouraged.
I did finally get something that I was great at and loved or at least liked most days. Then Eowyn got worse and things had to do some changing, and at first that job was great about it, then not so much so I moved on to something else that fit at the time then it didn't.
As most of you know we got Baby Bear kinda suddenly and I did try to work and do a newborn and ya'll... It was hard.. Then we came to the issue of child care... we do not do daycare, and even if we did nothing had an opening.. I broke down and called.. nothing. No body was available for me to be able to work outside the home. So we made the hard decision for me to stay home again.
I do struggle with it tho because I am used to being able to contribute to our household financially and the only way for me to do that is to babysit..
What I struggle with most is trying to find where I fit in now as far as what I have to offer my household. I feel like I have nothing to offer.. I feel like what I do have to offer is not enough and this is what I am finding..
I have to check that attitude, mostly because I do not have the time to doubt myself.. BUT... I do not have the energy to NOT like myself!!
I had someone tell me the other day that they don't know how I keep it together so well given everything the village has going on and personally what we have going on in our household and how we take another child and how we do this and that... When stuff like that is said to me it's not that I do not appreciate what they are trying to say but... I seriously have to stop and think... what in the world are they seeing.. what in the world am I putting off that says I have all this confidence?!!
Let me tell you what is actually going on in my head... I am FREAKED out most of the time!! On a normal day I have several small kiddos I watch and on top of that we have kids that have to be ran here and there and picked back up and shopping that needs done and St.louis to go to and dinner that needs fixed and kids that need to be talked to or with or need to talk to me and a baby that needs something 24/7 and a husband that also needs me so at the end of the day... exhausted is an understatement. So when I hear someone tell me I "look" like I have all my ducks in a row... I try so hard not to laugh at the fact it's FALLING apart lol
I look through my FB feed like I am sure everyone else does and I see all these friends and family of mine that are just killing it.. And I don't mean just looking like they are great but I mean I know these ladies on a personal level and they are just killing it daily! Going to school or running their own business or two or three, or working more then one or two jobs just to get by or make sure they have that extra for their kids... then I talk to them and I realize they are where I am...
They feel like they are failing most days and they are just in this rough place most of the time or when they lay down at night they feel like there is no end in sight or it's never going to be good enough and it's heartbreaking. If they could only see themselves from my point of view.... They are ROCK STARS!!
So I said all of that just to say this.... To all my ladies out there running a business, or working the hours that are seemingly endless or going to school and spending their nights between books and kids hoping to pass that test, or at home trying your best to keep your household running and giving that job your all.... YOU GOT THIS!!
I promise your kids see it! You have no idea the impact you are having on them right now, you have no idea the impact you are having on other people right now! Post that selfie.. post that success or failure.. post that frustration!! We NEED to see it.. everyone does.. post the real daily struggle! Your life makes an impact on everyone else... You matter, You are amazing and you may feel like you are running on fumes and just done...
Don't give up
Don't Stop
In your own way you are an inspiration to the people around you no matter how small.
I know how you feel.. I understand the failings you have in your mind.. but please stop and think for just a second about everything you are doing right because it's there and let me tell you it does out weigh what you think is bad!!
I am proud of you!! You should be proud of you as well!!
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